IOWA

Hello out there to All of You!

I feel like I need to make up for lost time or say something amazing, but I'm truly just here to start posting again following my 1+ year dry spell...whoops! It turns out that Iowa, beautiful though it can be, at times, sucked me a little dry and sent me sprinting for The Big City aka Chi-Town (pronounced "Shy-town") aka Chicago, Illinois. This fine city is one of the largest cities in the US. You know how I know it's one of the largest cities in the US? I know that because I recently found out that only the largest cities in the US have more than one professional baseball or basketball team associated with them. Interesting, huh? You probably already knew that. Me being who I am, I know...now.

What happened in Iowa? Well, I moved my WHOLE LIFE there for a job and residency for physical therapy. It was very very busy and I felt that I was doing my best dealing with my new job and new boss and new coworkers and new patients and mounds of responsibilities. And then, after 10 months, it all came crashing down after I injured myself--outside of work, though likely due to the physical demands of work. Then there was a communication break down, and BAM: fired.

If you want to know the nitty gritty details, I can discuss them, but I'd prefer not to write about them. It has now been 6 weeks, and I'm finally able to find the words to talk about how I feel without my emotions falling out of my face--in tear form, of course.

I write now as a person who is a little different from the one who wrote before. I'm not claiming that this situation has made me older and wiser but it might. I think it has served to give me a dose of reality while also setting me up for a little character building. All the old tricks I had up my sleeve for dealing with "life" and "loss" and "stress" failed me in this new situation. To be perfectly honest, I was/am depressed. I thought my tear ducts would grow mold or something from the amount of water that seemed to constantly flow with any mention of "Keep Calm and Carry On" or "physical therapy" or "career." Before this event, I felt I could deal with anything. Afterwards, I found that my response to nearly every task was to shrink away and read my escapist novel or watch my addictive TV show or sleep. Any time I finally felt up to the task of discussing my situation, I lasted approximately 2.5 minutes before tears choked me up and stopped me in my tracks, voice cracking. And those tears didn't linger briefly.

I write now as if I have finally been able to turn my pillow over to the cleaner side, the cooler side. I'm sure this side will also succumb to tear permeation. I am--I think--wise enough to know that this situation will continue to have ups and downs, but it's nice to be able to smile again without wondering when the next smile will come.

I know I've been quiet on the blog front. I know I have shut several of you out of my life or kept this situation from you--not entirely on purpose, but simply because I didn't know how to interact. I have this problem where I am perpetually honest. I really don't know how to talk to someone without being honest, completely. Therefore, being as sad and angry as I have been has been hard to share. It's not really the kind of thing that people line up for, you know?

So, there you have it, the most recent update.

Where to from here? I'm so glad you asked, because I've been doing some pondering, and I've realized some things about myself.

1. I respect and like myself.
2. I self-destruct when I don't feel respected by others in my environment.
3. I need intellectual stimulation.
4. I need to create.
5. I love baking; it's a form of creation, after all!
6. I like to help people and to give.
7. I still love physical therapy.
8. I am very stubborn.
9. Sometimes I give too much.
10. I am definitely still learning about myself.

What do these things mean? Well, I'm trying to figure that out myself. I'm recruiting YOU to help me. Here are some things I'm considering doing with my time (and in an effort to meet my financial needs):

1. A baking internship/apprenticeship
2. Teaching English or teaching/coaching people prior to taking the US citizenship exam
3. Physical Therapy consulting via phone, email, and video
4. Physical Therapy in a hospital setting
5. Your brilliant idea here!

Ok, so, let me know your thoughts! It doesn't have to be a comment on this blog, email me! I'm just reaching out for some positive reinforcements here--or new ideas! The idea of the PT consulting business will likely happen--already happens, but I might start it into a business in order to actually be able to pay some bills. If you have specific comments or thoughts about how to go about doing so, I'm all ears.

You are the reason I am who I am. And, I'm guessing, I might be part of the reason you are who you are as well. Let's make this world go 'round!

I love biking.

This is a post about a bike trip I took recently. It is also going to be a plug for a little something I'm going to participate in called The AIDS/Lifecycle.

First Story:

Once upon a time, I bought a bike off of a lovely friend that I know through ultimate frisbee. Her name is Anna Nazarov. She sold me Fly--and Fly introduced me to the love of riding distances. Anna had two stipulations for my collection of her old bike: 1) The name Fly was to stick 2) I needed to complete the AIDS ride with Fly. The name Fly has certainly stuck, and now I'm committing to do this AIDS ride thing! It turns out, this is a HUGE commitment. I will be riding from SF to LA. What that means is that I will be BIKING 545 MILES in 7 days. WOOT! I will be completing this journey with two other people: Brianna and Kyle. Bri and I ride together quite a bit, and Kyle is new to us. She is a friend of Anna's who also has been wanting to do the AIDS ride. Together, we are The Cyclopaths. There will be more mentioning of this as well as (hopefully) more amazing bike trips like the one I had over the past couple of days.

Biking Story:

Out of necessity for training, Bri and I recently planned and executed a brief but packed biking trip. Based on a recommendation from a friend in Steamboat Springs, Kelly Johnson, I decided that Bri and I should go to Point Reyes since it wouldn't be too far and yet it would also be an opportunity to check out a cool CA foodie city that I had yet to visit! Thus, planning began. However, Bri and I had a big grad school presentation a few days before leaving, which put a dampener on planning. So, Sunday evening we were discussing things:

Jessica: "Bri, I know we have hammocks from Bryan, but where are we going to set them up? Do we have a campground in mind?"

Bri: "What? We have hammocks!"

Jessica: "Yes, but where are we going to set them up?"
Bri: "Between two trees...?"

That was never fully resolved, which leads me to the true adventure that Bri and I undertook this past Monday.

We left Monday around 1pm from Golden Gate Park. We rode to the bridge in about 15 mins, then it took us another 20 mins to cross the bridge as the weather was gorgeous, so we were dodging distracted onlookers. This was annoying but tolerable.

The ride through Sausalito was uneventful. We were taking the Sir Francis Drake route to Point Reyes. Somewhere when we were navigating through some neighborhoods we encountered a dead end of sorts: we had to walk our bikes through a muddy path. Both of us are stubborn enough to not ever make U-turns, and it was entertaining anyway--did I

mention how difficult it is to steer a bike that is back-weighted over uneven terrain? Bri and I considered videoing it, but then we lost interest because steering a bike while also videoing is even more impossible.

From there we made some more complex turns that finally led us to Sir Francis Drake, which was then more heavily trafficked than we were anticipating. In Fairfax, we had to stop for some food--as you can tell that Bri was starting to lose it from this photo.

Weirdest situation inside this cafe: they

were showing a TV program about very large and disgusting food items (largest hotdog, as big as 11 regular hotdogs together) that could be purchased across the US. Needless to say, it no longer felt like SF...because it wasn't, it was Fairfax.

When we packed up and left the cafe, we finally got into a serious stride where we got into some redwood forests that were completely gorgeous with slow rolling hills including some lengthy downhills that made us very grateful in our choice to take this route TO Point Reyes and to have Hwy 1 as our intended route back. Sigh of relief. It was in the midst of the woods that we also recognized the ability of our bikes--Fly and Balto--to become a Lean-To! How amazing! The weight is good for something. :)

It seems like shortly after that stop we were coming to a turn to choose to go towards a campground that

Bri had found. We followed the directions there and tried to figure out how to pay to stay the night there. No one was around. An older gentlemen in a truck pulled up, and he asked if we were lost. We explained our situation. He explained that all the campsites were 6 miles farther (3 miles of uphill) plus required a 2 mile hike-in. At that point, he directed us to another campground with hot showers. So, we got back in the saddle to check it out. Again, there was no one present at this RV park (ew...no trees!). We scored some hot showers, and then decided food was necessary and sleeping would occur somehow, somewhere.

A wonderful meal occurred at Point Reyes Station Cafe: clam chowder, cauliflower chowder, salad, mac n cheese and homemade linguine all with local SF wit beer from Almanac!

We had to finish off the meal with a cappuccino in order to stay awake enough to find a sleeping location. In the end we were some of the last people there and we were sent away with a bag of pop-overs. Bri had a potential sleeping spot in mind: a nearby playground. We checked that out first. It was a VERY public space that raised every flag for me. I vetoed it. This is where the adventure truly started. Luckily, it was a gorgeous night: perfect temperature, no precipitation--yet. I strapped my headlamp on and we rode off into the night. We checked out different spots in the residential area where we were met with beady eyes and a dirt road. Bri then suggested checking out the church in town. We ventured there and found, much to our surprise and happiness, the perfect location. The church provided some coverage from the road and the street lights as well as a tree for me to string up my hammock and a soft bed of needles for Bri to make her bed on the ground under our tarp. Here is a hard to see photo of our situation. At the end of the day: we traveled roughly 41 miles in 3 hours and 28 mins averaging 12 mph with a max speed of 34 mph.

We set up camp at 10pm and got up and broke camp at 6am so as to not be seen in the light. It was very sneaky and highly adventuresome and we loved Every Minute. Though, in the night around 1am we both awoke to a drastic change in weather: the wind was so strong I was being swung in my hammock! By 4:30am it had begun to rain. At 6am when we got up, my sleeping bag had become decently wet. Our decision to rise at 6am had everything to do with the light AND the fact that a local bakery opened at 6:30am. Right around 6:30am we were packed and back on our bikes in full rain regalia.

Bovine Bakery was spectacular and offered warm coffee and warm, fresh croissants. AMAZING. This was a great start to our day especially since the first few pedals strokes were uphill, against a strong headwind and rain where both of us were off our saddles and pedaling hard and yet hardly moving. It was degrading. After 40 mins of hard work we had traveled 7 miles. Finally, the rain ceased to some degree. We finally had reached the more normal rolling hills of Hwy 1 and I hit my stride. I felt great, if wet and with frozen toes. We sailed along with Stinson Beach as a stopping point (in my mind, at least). However, before we made it there, I suddenly heard a yell behind me and turned to find Bri had clipped the edge of the pavement and wiped out. Though her Easter egg outfit was festive, the yellow pants offered no protection against the pavement--in fact, bits of yellow were spread across the pavement where she had made contact. She rolled on the ground for a few minutes before pulling it together. I knew we both needed food.

Within the next mile, we came upon Stinson Beach. We located a coffee shop and pulled in. We ended up staying for a while next to the fire--until our feet stopped aching from cold and returned to their usual pink color. I also changed into dry socks. Back on the road, it was an uphill start. For most of the rest of the trip we battled some pretty serious hills but also enjoyed some spectacular downhills (though these must be taken more cautiously when the roads are wet). There is a photo of one of our last stops overlooking the ocean. We were also stoked because we had just seen a view of SF.

From here we lost a little steam. Somewhere in the last big hill we also realized, to our dismay, that we were going to have to climb out of Sausalito. This fact hit Bri particularly hard, and the hill climb out of Sausalito up to the Golden Gate Bridge was not a shining moment. I mustered up the courage for that climb, but then I did not anticipate the awful trek across the bridge. It was raining again and the headwind was intense. Once across the bridge, I think we both felt that we should be home, but we weren't. We had 40 mins to make it to a destination in under 4 hours. I totally thought we could make it, but the city won the time war. Our final stats: 44 miles home in 4 hours and 19 mins averaging 10.2 mph this time with a max speed of 31 mph.

All in all: 85 miles, 7 hours and 47 mins of biking in 24 hours. Since we pushed off at 7:30am on Tuesday, we arrived back in the city around 12:30 making it to my house around 1:30 or so, which was when we met up on Monday. CRAZY. Bri was bonking (needing food) when we got to my house. I put her in the shower and went to get a huge burger. I came home and we split it. Then I showered. I took Bri and Balto home in a car. I came home and managed to read a few pages of my book before I passed out around 6:30pm. My roommate accidentally woke me up around 8pm, and I got up and got ready for bed. The next thing I knew, it was 8:45am. WHAT!? I have got to continue training.

It was such a fun trip, and I am stoked to do more training! But now, this is the part where I have to point out that in order to participate in the AIDS ride, I have to raise $3000. Please consider any amount to help fund my efforts to do extreme sporting events whilst raising money for a good cause! Here is my AIDS/Lifecycle page where you can donate! Just click on the box that says "Donate to support Jessica." Thank you!

Week 2

Well, we got the blizzard and it resulted in some snow, but then it most melted. Every local has been disappointed since. Here is one picture of the snow out my window.

It has been quite the first week. I have thoroughly enjoyed my clinic, and I am looking forward to this coming week! I should start treating some patients independently, which will feel good and boost my confidence. I have realized that I really enjoy this method of treating, and I think I need to consider that I may want to become even more immersed and trained in this Institute of Physical Art (IPA) style of treatment. If you are interested in learning more about it, please feel free to read more on their website. I think I have mentioned it before, but this treatment style looks at treating the whole person: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. While we are mostly focused on the physical portions, we take into account the other two components, which can easily manifest physically. When emotions manifest physically as pain, they often will not resolve completely unless the underlying emotional piece is confronted. This can be dealt with by us somewhat, but there is also the recognition that there are other individuals more trained to help patients work through some of their emotions. As for the physical treatment: it is a system that makes a ton of sense to me--and it gets great results!

All of this is to say that I am now considering a residency guided by an IPA therapist, who is also known as a Certified Functional Manual Therapist (CFMT). The residency will not make me a CFMT, but it will certainly put me on that path. Instead, the residency will offer a year of mentorship while I treat patients and continue learning more--mostly through hands-on practice. In my opinion, this is the best way to learn. (Part of that is just my preference). The residencies are set up all over the United States, and I am considering applying for a residency in the Washington DC area. This comes with some excitement for the rents because it would mean a return to the East Coast for this lady! It's still in the contemplation stages, but I will likely make my contemplations known to the powers-that-be that will match me with a mentor for the residency year. It is also important to consider that the residency locations may or may not have space for me at the moment. We shall see!

Finally, an update for what I am doing with myself on the weekend: yesterday I ventured from my house by foot to a trail to Fish Creek Falls. It was about 2.5 miles to get to the trailhead--an invigorating, mostly uphill walk. Once I reached the trailhead, it was only a short 10 min walk to the falls. As you can see in the photo of me, the falls are currently frozen, but it was quite a scenic area despite that. I did the hike alone, but I ran into some friendly ladies at the overlook who took this photo of me. :)

SNOW.

OMG. It snowed all afternoon. It was "blizzarding" like it's a verb. I'll post pictures as soon as I have some.

Steamboat Springs, CO

It was Thursday night and all through my SF house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...except me. I was checking the weather as Friday I was scheduled to fly to Denver and then into Steamboat Springs, CO. I laughed out loud, and then I took a screen shot of what appeared before my wondering eyes. Do you see this? 1 degree. That's right, folks. I have never seen my weather app display single digits. I'm not sure I've ever seen a current temperature reading of 1 degree. There's a first time for everything, I suppose. I awoke the next morning and procured my last cup of Philz Coffee with my roommate, Bradford, before being whisked away to the airport by my friend, Martin. Thank you, both of you, for being present on my last SF morning for a while. :)

My flight to Denver was fairly uneventful. Then I took a small puddle jumper to Steamboat Springs where I was met with crisp air and clear skies. From the tiny airport, I took a shuttle to my abode where my new roommate, Liz, met me at the door. There was a beautiful sunset.

I also quickly met my other newest roommate, Scout. This picture of Scout is on Saturday morning as we were preparing to take my new jacket, which she is sitting on, for a spin by going hiking in the snow!

It was originally supposed to be snow shoeing, but there's not enough snow to necessitate that kind of equipment. I can safely say now that the hike was uneventful, but I was moderately concerned going into it. The temperature was in the teens when we woke up with a high around 20, and Liz acted like it was balmy! She also noted how every time her sister-in-law comes to visit, she gets altitude sickness--so many things to consider!!!! I was worried about being dehydrated, getting altitude sickness, and generally being considered a wimp. (Liz is cool, so I'm trying to make a good impression.) Liz did manage to mention that we would be going with a few of her friends, including a woman who will be giving birth next week. (In my mind's eye: If I can't keep up with a pregnant woman who is going to give birth in less than a week, well, I'm likely pathetic.)

All in all, the hike was fine! It was Liz, her two friends (including one very pregnant lady), me, and 6 dogs. It was so fun! And I didn't feel faint, too thirsty, too cold, too warm, nauseated, or otherwise odd! I was so proud. Oh, and it was beautiful.

Then last night we ventured out to a new sports bar in town to watch the Bronco's game. I'm not really a pro football fan; hell, I'm not even really any kind of football fan...or I didn't think I was. Then I realized that I know Tim Tebow from his stint at Florida (rather insignificant, no?), and I actually understand the game of football pretty well. I like to relate it to ultimate--and I ended up explaining some similarities and differences (football v ultimate) to one of Liz's friends who came. It turned out to be a blast!

Today, Sunday, I ventured out on my own--on Liz's road bike. Ya, I was also terrified about this. It turns out that when the temperature doesn't get above freezing, the water on the road just doesn't stop being ice. Everyone driving has all weather or snow tires usually coupled with all-wheel drive. I was on a fancy road bike with skinny tires in my jeans, toms, and a hoody. Did I look like I was from SF? Totally. Did I still feel bad-ass? You bet. Luckily, the 1.5 mile hill that I now live on is mostly hit by the sun, so icy patches were few and far between. I flew down the 1.5 mile hill! I had to make a bike store stop immediately because Liz and I couldn't manage to pump up her tires all the way with the pump we had. The people at the bike shop were super friendly and offered me bike services whenever I may need them. I then road to the clinic where I will be working and quickly realized I needed better gloves. The ones I was wearing were fingerless. Thus, my fingertips were numb. So, on the way back from the clinic, which is about 1.5 miles from where the turnoff is for Liz's/my house, I planned to search for new gloves.

However, on the way to gloves, I found the library. It was redone about 2 years ago and is absolutely gorgeous. I wanted to stay and read, but I needed gloves. And I had too much energy to sit still. I hung around long enough to take this picture out of the floor to ceiling windows. Of note, there's a dude about to get into that river there and fish. You don't see the river? Well, that's because the sides of the river are iced over. Take home message: The people in Steamboat are Hard-Core. And I want to be just like them.

After the library I searched fruitlessly for gloves. One store had sold out, one didn't have my size, and my other option was closed. Did I mention that Steamboat is a small town? 12,088 people. Several cold weather gear stores. But still, no gloves today. :( However, I managed to find an adorable coffee shop where I ate lunch and managed to churn out some school work. That felt great! Then I made my last stop for some groceries. I went to the local co-op type all-natural store. It rocked. I bought pizza stuff and made a pretty fabulous pizza for dinner tonight :) I also made a friend! The girl at the register noted that I probably was new in town (read: I'm the only girl with a haircut like mine) and asked if I wanted to join her and her friends for snow shoeing, cross country skiing, or visiting the hot springs sometime! I think I had a massive grin that gave her my answer. I love making friends.

This last photo has some ski jumps you can see in the distance. I thought that was cool.

As I happily packed up my groceries, I realized the climb I had ahead of me: 1.5 miles uphill. Whatever, I thought, I'm tough. I put in my headphones and hit the road. About half way up the hill I could taste iron in my mouth. Uh oh, I thought, I know what that means: I'm sucking wind. This is what adjusting to the new altitude (6,732 ft) feels like. I was panting hard, but you better believe I made it to our driveway without stopping! I felt Hard-Core. I could be a Steamboat resident! Then for the following 3 hours I proceded to cough sort of uncontrollably with speech and laughter. Oh well. I'm here to tell about it, right?

Stanford, CA

I recently switched gears from Napa, CA in the private outpatient physical therapy clinic to Stanford Hospital where I am working inpatient as a PT (physical therapist) on three nursing units. Two of the units are Oncology and the third is also considered Oncology, but it is specifically the Bone and Marrow Transplant (BMT) unit. The BMT unit, also E1, is my main home base because my CI (clinical instructor) or preceptor, as they call them at Stanford, is a senior therapist for these patients. These floors are special, in particular, the BMT unit is special. Patients in this unit have cancer that has unsuccessfully been treated elsewhere with various chemotherapies and radiation therapies. They have complex diagnoses like acute myeloid leukemia (AML), acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), multiple myeloma, and myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS) to name a few. Perhaps needless to say, I spent my first week at Stanford looking up acronyms and learning pager numbers and door codes. The hospital is a giant wealth of information at your finger tips, but it does take some skill and sweet talking to get what you want when you want it. Here's me in my white lab coat nerding out at Stanford :)



I have truly learned from one of the best. Christine, my CI, is an absolutely inspirational individual. I feel so lucky to have her in my life--and for her to be my CI is quite amazing. She is kind and patient. Patient care is always her top priority. I never thought I would feel so passionately about inpatient physical therapy, but I absolutely love it.

In addition, my life is pretty awesome. Palo Alto and Redwood City have some of the most perfect weather there is. The days are warm and sunny without being hot, and the evenings sometimes smell/taste/feel like cool fall evenings in Georgia. Also, there are no mosquitoes. Have I mentioned previously in this blog that, in general, there are far fewer bugs in CA than in GA? It's lovely. I currently am residing in Redwood City in a 3 bedroom house with a woman who is only around occasionally, as she works in SF and has a house there, and a younger woman who just recently graduated from undergrad in MA and moved out here for a job in Redwood City in something complicated that I don't really understand.

Anyway. Here's my house. And pretty flowers.

Napa!

Quick recap: Portland was AMAZING. We were beer hunters extraordinaire--and I'm practically a beer expert now :) AND, I got my unicorn tattoo whilst on the road--in Bend, OR to be specific.



BUT, there are other new and amazing things in life now! For example, I am currently living in Napa, on a lot that backs up to VINEYARDS.
Yup, I know, I have a rough life. A week ago, MommyDaddy were in CA visiting. We stayed in San Francisco for most of the week. We ate amazing food, had a nearly defeating bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge (2 flat tires), and we walked our little hearts out. Then, we rented a minivan that fit nearly all of my belongings and moved me to Napa. Oh, and, of course, we made time to do some wine tasting in there.



This last photo is the view from my bedroom.

So, I'm in Napa for the next 7 weeks doing an internship for my Physical Therapy program. It's going really well. I really like my CI (clinical instructor), Eric. He owns the clinic. It's a private outpatient clinic called Eric Ewig Physical Therapy. We mostly see post-op shoulders; it's their area of expertise. It's awesome. Eric and Scott, the 2 PTs who work there, are both graduates of my program, so I'm reinforcing a ton of what I've learned. They each quiz me on a regular basis, and I've mostly been passing :) They both said last night that they aren't worried about me being successful in my internship. Eric is impressed with my assessment skills, which basically means that I can do some observation or tests on someone and actually figure out what's going on (the main point of PT). It feels really good to hear that. I think he likes me a lot, and it goes both ways. I think that the next 7 weeks are going to be great for my future career.

Speaking of careers, I have one more year left in school. I will earn my masters in March of 2012, then in June the doctoral part of the degree will be conferred. After that, I will be in search of a job. It's going to be here sooner than later! I hope I'm prepared! I am considering doing a little traveling--and maybe even practicing in another country before officially settling down. But, we shall see what happens.